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Sunday, August 30, 2009

愕然发现自己很久没有blog了。我到底要怎样呢?又写日记又写blog。是自愿把自己逼疯吗?

我觉得这个学期我真的有些疯了。学期刚开始时,大胆地选了很多科目。朋友问起时我回答说“‘I'll just tell myself that they are core modules so I won't feel that I'm so stupid that I took so many things" 可是我真的能够这样说服自己吗?算了,都上了半个学期了。我还没疯,还没死,就是还受得了。这个学期就拼了吧。年轻人,受得了那么一点挑战的。

除此之外,要写得稿也开始堆积起来了。和慧凝做的泡泡堂,和慧敏做的报道,还有凌鹰会讯的畅谈天。。。我可以的,我一定可以把它们全都做的最好!相信我吧! (差点加了“新加坡”)

哦对,合唱团!!国庆节的表演成功!谢谢大家那么用心学舞步,谢谢来自文莱、越南、泰国、韩国和中国的团员,谢谢你们愿意唱新加坡的爱国歌曲,谢谢你们那宽敞的胸襟,谢谢你们愿意花时间背歌词,真的很感谢。尤其是雪禾,应该花了很多时间和精力背歌词吧?但却病倒了不能参与表演,太委屈了啦。要照顾好身子哦,下次才不会再枉费心机嘛。不过现在有机会和学姐pamela合唱哦。ooh~~ooh~~哈哈!加油啦!

还有的是教师节的礼物!真的真的真的很感谢...
1. 天然!!!
2. 雪禾
3. thu
4. Yr 4 bunch of girls...

心里有说不出的感动和感谢。原本我还怕没有人会帮我,而且事情会搞砸的,但是看来哪儿会嘛。真的,很谢谢你们。这一年来我一直都觉得身为团长,我没为合唱团做过些什么,这次总是有所付出啦。谢谢你们的支持。没齿难忘。还有特别感谢天然。对不起我好像总烦着你做这个催着你做那个。真的很感谢你肯帮我。感谢,感激,感动,感恩。还有,我说话哪儿会很嗲嘛。没听过我骂人的时候吗?要见识见识吗?嘿嘿!而且你未免太像大少爷了吧。要全部的女孩子迁就你在图书馆做。真是的。若不是你会画的话,你就知道死!不不,下次如果还这样的话,你就死定了!

说完合唱团的事,该说说其他的了吧。一转眼又七月了。让我想到一首歌:

Because of You

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard , I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far

Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you I am afraid

I lose my way and it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake, a smile, a laugh every day of my life
My heart can't possibly break when it wasn't even whole to start with

I watched you die I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young you should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else you just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night for the same damn thing

Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you I tried my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you I am afraid
Because of you Because of you

已快八年了。我生命中没你的日子从今年开始,已多过一半了。我一直都以为我早已放下了,但是有时
很烦时,很难过时,很忧郁时,很委屈时,又会不禁地想起你。希望你没走,希望你还在,希望我可以
像其他的孩子一样,希望我也可以像同学一样有自信地说出“我成长于一个小康之家“,希望我也跟别人
一样有人疼,希望我也跟别人一样有一个靠山。。已不止一次,和朋友们的争吵,她们的家长都来为她
们出头。可我总是孤零零一个,在这个生命的战场里自生自灭。为什么没有人来帮我?我也希望能在你
的荫蔽下长大,我也希望有人会为我出头,我也希望在外头受了委屈可以回家窝在你心头大哭一场,我
也希望生病时有人关切地问候我,无微不至地照顾我。你应该一辈子照顾我的,你应该一辈子保护我的
,可你,居然早就走了。还记得以前你很疼我的,还记得以前小一放学是你来接我回家的,还记得途中
你总会买雪糕给我的。你走后从此放学就是我自己走回家的了,你走后放学我再也没有雪糕吃了。现在
我看起来跟别人没什么不同,可是,我是真的真的觉得,很没有安全感,觉得没有人疼我。 我又哭了啦
。都是你。已经很久没哭过了。已经跟自己说好不要轻易流泪的。可是眼泪还是不由自主地流出来了嘛
。上华文课读“送汤“那一篇时,我真的快哭了。非常感动。眼泪在眼睛里打转,看东西模模糊糊的,读
不下去。幸好没有真的哭了出来。全班同学和卓老师都没有那么感动,唯有我一个。天然也说那篇课文
不置于流泪,可我不知道啦,真的感触很多。究竟我什么时候才能长大,才能忘记你?

这篇blog的题目是“教师节礼物“的。原本只是想感谢合唱团的团员们。不知为何会写到这里。昨天读了
某个人的blog,感触也很深。因为认识了XX那么久,根本不知道XX心里是怎样想的。在学校里总是很
像没什么事的,但心里却又很多挣扎。想想看,XX跟我也挺相似的。

结束此篇的五个字:我要溜滑轮。

我要乘着我的烽火轮,飞到九霄云外去,飞到没有离别,没有哀愁,没有伤心的地方去。。。
你不要来阻我,不要来劝我。
要就跟我一起走
一起走。

penned wholeheartedly @ 4:08 PM

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Oh and YAY finally i can upload photos on blogger. HMMM. Let me bloggggg!!

firstly, the super outdated thailand photos. i realised that i havent posted any yet. so well that was me and agnes, my cousin at the royal palace at bangkok.


and why are the toy dogs so realistic and cute in thailand?


floating market was definitely a once in a lifetime experience



and that's me making the coconut thingy. and i just spotted a cute little soft toy in the shape of a. ahem. a. sperm.


oh and this is just one of the breakfasts that i brought to school. am very proud of the nice arrangement. would be cool if i can bring that to sch as breakfast every morning.



oh yeap and of course choir tee! cheers for tianran. but sorry cant help you. shall do a better job next time right? the vest? heee =p



and montly trips to pulau semakau always result in nice photos! (25.07.09) clockwise from top left: nice sunrise, nice clouds, patterns, patterns, cute little pink thing standing tall in the vast ocean



and whoever that does not think that this little hairy crab holding onto my chopstick is cute must be mad. hahah. isnt it sooo cute? like. holding onto my chopstick! spend a long time to get it back.


other interesting finds. clockwise from top left: anemone, orange fan worm, sea star, octopus


me and abigial at the tipppp of the intertidal area. one more step and plonk we go into the seaaaa.



and the return walk through te mangrove isnt always that irritating. somehow that day i feel that it feels really serene and nice and i would like to live there. minus away the mosquitoes. this picture is like. "where does this path lead you to? if you never try, you'll never know." nice right? =p


ok end of semakau. just feeeling bored so started taking pictures with tongtong, my bear, of us living in the north pole.


and during the no-sch wednesday, went kbox with weihan and emily and mr yeeeee!!



aww dont we loook so sweeet tgt??



HAH compart. kbox on 14/2/09 and kbox on 29/7/09
same people, same sitting arrangement, same white thingy weihan's wearing, same jacket i'm wearing. ohwell and same happy smiles we all have. singing is such a fun thing to do. yay. love it. shall go soooon!!

ok that's the end of spamming of photos. i just felt too happy that blogger can finally upload photos. yay. these few days i feel like i spent a few months already. on thursday, lesson ends at 2, physics olympiad 2-4, national day concert rehearsal 4-6, da vinci elevtive 6.30-9.00. lucky physics was cancelled. got abit of free time to memorise the lyrics. but was still very rush. when i had to leave for science centre around 6, i was so worried about choir. scared that they cannot remember the lyrics. ohwell. at least the performance was a success. yay. hahah. now i feel like planning an outing for choir to relax and chill. wheee. but hmm Lion's Home CIP coming up. haiz. and teacher's day coming up too. time to think of pressies for teachers! buhbyee!





penned wholeheartedly @ 11:53 PM